We should not settle for poor conditions.

Sorting thoughts - Reality check - Self development

This might be right for you if you want to sort out your relationship on your own first. Or if your partner does not want couples counseling.

When it comes to problems in the relationship, counseling can also be helpful for the individual. A change, even if it is initiated by only one partner, can have a continuing effect on the relationship as a whole.

The following questions could be subject to an individual relationship counseling session:

• Where am I now and what is my goal?
• I want to improve the relationship, what can I do about it?
• What do I need from my partner?
• Are my expectations realistic?
• Negotiable?
• Are my feelings related to my present relationship or do they stem from traumas in the past?
• What are my priorities?
• Do we need to change our communication style?
• How can I get better in touch with myself and my partner?

Life goes on, the relationship too?

"Ambivalence coaching" can help with the topic "continue together or separate?"

You want to get out of a destructive relationship and need support.

The partner is gone, what happens now? Fears and uncertainties need to be overcome, the future needs to be planned and shaped. When thinking about your next steps, I can be at your side, offering you a "thinking environment", a protected space in which to become clear about what you want to do now.

Overcoming heartbreak and separation pain

The relationship has ended, but your emotional life is in turmoil, you are devastated, overwhelmed by grief, can think of nothing else, the pain is boundless.

Grief and pain are part of life. People tend to trivialise heartbreak, but heartbreak is a serious burden, which in the worst case can result in disorders such as depression, increased susceptibility to anxiety or somatic problems such as constant headaches, tension, back pain, stomach pain, concentration problems and many others. Take heartbreak seriously and give yourself the time and space it takes to heal the wounds. However, the grief, pain and anger should not become a permanent life feeling that overshadows everything.

We can influence this. Even if it seems unlikely at the moment of despair. In the way we talk to ourselves, the way we think about things, we can make a difference.

Finding a kind way of dealing with yourself can help you to regenerate more quickly.

The latest studies on grief suggest that it is helpful to repeatedly provide balance and relief: if a good balance can be found between times of allowing, permitting, confronting and times of letting go, regenerating, strengthening oneself, distraction, this has a favourable effect on the duration of the heartache and on the general well-being. Neither permanent repression nor permanent plunging into the pain is beneficial.

I can support you in this process.

Dealing with the ex-partner

A couple relationship does not always end with a complete break-up. Often people are still bound to each other through children. Finding a respectful and objective way of dealing with each other can be a useful goal in couples therapy, even after the separation.

There may also be situations in which it is advisable to clearly distance oneself and reject unreasonable demands. If there is a new partner, it sometimes happens that the ex-partner uses old loyalties to subtly undermine or devalue the new relationship in the hope that this will help them to better deal with their own grievance. Any ambivalences of your own can also play a role in the round of closeness/distance regulation with the new partner and your need for security.

With my psychotherapeutic support you can become aware of such mechanisms and find a clear position more easily