Couples counseling

Draw strength and security from your partnership again

Peaceful encounters become possible beyond right and wrong. Much is achieved when we communicate with each other in a respectful and empathic manner.

Difficult circumstances may be putting your partnership to a tough test. Perhaps you're unsure of where you stand and where you're headed. However, you would like to figure it out. In couples therapy, I assist you in this process.

Possible problems may include:

You have grown apart, and there is only a limited emotional connection
Uncontrollable negative emotions
Escalating conflicts
Rediscovering the balance between closeness and distance
External affairs/infidelity/unfaithfulness
Issues with in-law relationships
Dissatisfaction
Fears
Burdensome jealousy
Separation, yes or no?
Reconnecting with each other
Blended family problems
Birth of a child
...

The romantic relationship is the central connection in our lives, the person with whom we share the most time and material belongings. Therefore, it is crucial for our mental and physical well-being to pay special attention to this relationship, and it is worthwhile to invest in it.

Naturally, romantic relationships undergo crises. Most minor troubles can be overcome on our own. However, when a couple finds themselves stuck in an unfavorable situation for an extended period, seeking professional support is advisable, and the sooner, the better.

A process that may drag on for an agonizingly long time can be shortened through couples therapy. In couples therapy, you can find relief.

The couples counseling I offer is solution-oriented. You set the goal. What do you, as a couple, need to achieve this goal? What actions do you need to take?

Uncontrollable negative emotions

An often encountered problem is the overwhelming flood of emotions. Couples and families face various stressors, including daily organization, work, school, living situations, finances, and the list goes on. One partner gets carried away on the waves of their emotions, triggering intense emotional reactions in the other, and words escalate. The impact runs deep, and in the next disagreement, a piece of the previous one is revisited, starting the cycle anew. Thus, a vicious circle begins. The originally triggering situation is no longer the issue; the conflict behavior has become self-perpetuating and mutually reinforcing.

Break free from the escalation spiral, connect with your emotions, and learn to handle them (and your partner) constructively and compassionately without dismissing or suppressing feelings. Discover the needs underlying the emotions.

Healthier Communication

Instead of getting stuck in repetitive interaction patterns, I assist you in engaging in a constructive dialogue. Successfully convincing yourself and your partner to move away from power struggles, shifting from 'I am right' - 'No, I am right' to 'How can we solve this?' is a significant step in the right direction.

Closeness and Distance - a Difficult Balance

The need for closeness and distance often varies, and it can also change with a new life situation. What suits one person may be too much for another, appearing overwhelming. Under stress, one may crave a lot of attention, while another might feel a strong need for peace and prefer solitude. All of this is subject to negotiation within a relationship, where there is no right or wrong. Some researchers even suggest that early relationship experiences in childhood are so influential that while the relationship type can still be modified later on, it is within narrow limits*. The determining factor for the level of closeness is what is fitting, pleasant, or at least bearable for each individual in a given situation.

Infidelity/Sexuality/Fears/Jealousy

...

Sometimes, a specific issue takes center stage, and you may wish to address it together with professional support in couples therapy. The ones mentioned above are examples.

*John Bowlby: Bindungstheorie